Friendships

Friends come and go. It's a fact of life. Some of us will continue to trade in one  best friend for another over the years and some will have gone through their entire lives with the same friend. There are Best friends, Close friends, Acquaintances. Friends you never see or ones you just talk to on the phone. Friends you tell everything to or just have for chit chat. Ones you consider family or not really friends at all. They say "If you can call one person your true friend consider yourself lucky". That's almost a sad statement. It sounds like it was invented by a person who had a number of bad friends. I think in order to have a friend you must be a friend. That's not always the case but I believe it should be. You can be the best friend you can possibly be and things just don't work out. It doesn't mean you did something wrong. It just wasn't meant to be for whatever reason. Some of us just have that instant connection. We get along. Agree on almost everything. Have the same beliefs and live the same way. We find it easy to be together more than we do with others. That awesome ability to look at each other and know what the other is thinking. The thought of them makes you laugh, happy or even sad, but in a good way. Whether you spend everyday together or never see each other at all, the bond between two friends can be one of the most powerful forces in nature. We all choose certain friends through-out our lives but maybe true friendship chooses us. It's weird how you can be so close with someone then go to not even talking at all. For whatever the reason, all you can do is be the best friend you can.
No matter what kind of friendship you have they all revolve around one key factor if they are going to work. Respect. Without it, no relationship can work. And without both parties putting in the effort, you may as well move on.

Fear

   Fear... It's the monster under the bed or the one in plain sight. It could be taking that first step or "simply" revealing your thoughts. We all have it. Fear of being rejected, of something better or of what could be. It's what holds us back from getting what we want. What we desire. But it can also protect us. Whether we try to avoid it by playing it safe or it takes our safety away it controls us just as much as love if not more.

   Eleanor Roosevelt said; "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing in which you think you cannot do". Without fear would we be fearless? Would we always feel safe and/or happy? Would we attempt to do things we otherwise would not do and what would we do if we knew we could not fail? Jump off a cliff. Dance for the world to see. Quit our jobs. Say "I love you". Overcoming our fears is the challenge. It strengthens us. To stand up and say; "I can do this" is what makes us stronger. Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it.

   To know the difference of when fear will keep us safe and when it will hold us back is also its own challenge. Never knowing what could have been doesn't always mean it would have been better or should have been done at all but being afraid can stop us from finding out. It's a vicious circle being afraid to act and being afraid of not knowing. I'm so scared to but I'm scared not to. What if I don't? As I said not only does facing our fears make us stronger... it gives us answers. It's exhilarating. For some it's what drives us and pushes us to our limits. Facing our fears can make us feel alive. Looking fear in the eye and saying "Get the Hell outta my way".

   "The only thing we have to fear is fear it self" If only it were that easy. I say "Pursue Happiness". To focus on being happy and putting all your energy to getting there. "In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure" Bill Cosby. The more you focus on being happy the less you pay attention to fear. While there are some who are afraid to be happy, being unhappy is what I fear the most.
   "Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's My Dad

  My Dad... He always wanted to be a writer. I guess that is where I get this from. Some writings I have shown and others that have never been read. Of course I'm not anywhere near as good as he is but I'm happy with my writings so far. My Dad did do the occasional writing: Church newspapers, cards and invitations and I'm sure many other editorials I've never even heard about. Working as a printer for more years than I was around to see He at least had the opportunity to do some writing that I'm sure he enjoyed. I have read some of his publishing's, one liners and cartoons. Whether I understood them or not, He was good at what he loved. 


  My Dad just turned 80 years old this year and our church, Saints Constantine and Helen, just honored him for all his years of service and being a teacher for young adults. The church is celebrating its 100 year anniversary this year and they had special icons made and they presented my Father with the first one. I grew up going to church with my Dad every Sunday all through High School. I was an alter boy, which I know he was proud to watch and I attended many of his classes during my High School years. I was very proud of him for doing that. Not many people try to keep kids involved in church after they graduate Junior High but he did and he did it well. Not only that, the kids loved him. I heard it weekly. He gave many kids an opportunity to talk about things they couldn't at home with their own parents. My peers would tell me all the time they loved him and that he was cool. My Dad didn't judge. He listened. He gave advice. He cared. I think that's where I get it. 


  My Dad told me he went to Columbia College for a semester but had to quit to take care of family. I graduated with a Bachelors Degree from Columbia. I did it for my Dad because to him "Knowledge is Power", as he always told me, and even though I don't use that degree I'm still proud to have it and I know my graduation day was one of his proudest moments. 


  My Dad is a funny guy. He loves to make people laugh and you could always count on him for a joke or one liner (usually a one liner). But if there is on word I could use to describe him, to me, it's Dependable. He was always there for me when I needed him or not. Whether it was for a one hour phone call, twenty bucks or something big. He always always had my back. He said what He did and He did what He said. Like most kids, growing up, I thought he was the smartest man in the world. He always had the answers. Now I think it's safe to say all boys are like their fathers in one way or another, like it or not and nothing surprised me more than after trying to pay attention to the ways I knew I was like him that other characteristics would pop up and I would think "I'm my Father". I didn't see that coming. But absolutely nothing scared the crap out of me until the day I said "OMG I'm my Mother". Just kidding. 


  My Dad taught me many things over the years. Some things he told me and some things you just learn through experience like Honesty, Integrity, Dependability and, of course the ability to throw out the occasional one liner. Even though he didn't get to accomplish some of the things he wanted to in life I'm still proud of him.